Looking to lose the negative self-talk and start practicing some self-love habits? It’s a whole lot easier and kinder than beating yourself up, so kudos to you for taking on this confidence-boosting goal.
Here we have 8 daily habits that will help you makeover your inner critic into a more compassionate (and ultimately, more helpful) voice of reason.
Greet yourself in the mirror like someone you’re happy to see. EVERY. DAY.
Empty your mind. Meditate or do something meditative for 15 minutes or more every day.
Check-in with your emotions 3-4 times a day. How am I feeling? How is what I’m doing now benefiting me? Do I really want to engage this a-hole right now?
Practice good posture. It affects self-esteem and how we talk to ourselves.
Exercise & do physical activities that require focus
Regularly connect with people who affirm you and show you love
Have balanced self-talks (check out the definition below if you’re curious)
Practice by making realistic observations about yourself and things around you…ending with a healthy and positive point
At the end of each day, post 3-4 things you’re grateful for. Yep, there are apps for that!
A couple things to keep in mind as you work on this on your own
1. The habit of throwing negative jabs at yourself is something you developed over time, and it may take time to change. Be consistent and patient.
2. The inner critic is universal, and guess what? In different first-world cultures, it has differing views of success. For example, in the United States, we obsess over success and being perceived as “better than…” or “fitting in” so a lot of women beat themselves up if they haven’t achieved the things (a husband, the right job) that our culture says symbolizes success. On the other hand, in Australia, where the culture preaches and prides itself on humility, women there have a different inner critic. They beat themselves up for trying too hard, showing off and aiming too high.
Maybe we should trade lives for a couple months, eh?
This reality check is helpful because it demonstrates that…
Some of our critical messaging are RANDOM as hell, doesn’t accurately describe who we are, and is definitely influenced by our culture, parents, religion and others.
And guess what? Sometimes it’s no longer what we really believe…but it’s human nature to get stuck in old thought patterns.
So today, start doing ALL eight of the reforming self-talk behaviors for at least a week.
At the end of your test period, assess which ones are really working for you. Then repeat those over and over until you’ve created new patterns.
What is balanced self-talk and how is it different from “positive thinking?”
Good question because balanced thinking is one the most important steps in your negative self-talk makeover.
It is healthy talk/thoughts that are based in reality! It is seeing life and yourself realistically, and with a healthy and positive point of view…no matter what.
It’s different from positive thinking (which, despite what The Secret says, has its limits). We don’t think it’s helpful to pretend you’re happy around friends and to yourself — at least not ALL the time. It’s hard as hell to fragment your thoughts and ignore some. Doing that just locks them away in our subconscious to reek chaos later…you know, when you’re feeling your worst.
Only you know if you need to (and have the time) to do more in-depth work on your Inner Critic
We have an excellent workshop on the topic. Check out when the next one is here.
Who else can help? A pro like a therapist or a minister. You may also talk regularly to someone you feel comfortable to share your emotions with (like a parent or confidante). Sometimes just the act of sharing with a truly caring person helps.
We also highly recommend making exercise and physical activity part of your permanent makeover plan, even if you think you don’t want to. Physical activity has been scientifically-proven to help create inner confidence and clear our heads.
Good luck with this ladies!!
Please leave a comment below letting us know which of these daily habits you’ve tried and about your experience with it. We’d also love to hear about any customization (tweaks) you make to our habits as well as share your own self-love techniques.